Come Find Us Over Here

If you stumbled on this abandoned blog from Japan, come on over HERE.

Home Sweet Home

I left without even saying goodbye. I didn't know how to officially end the blog. Perhaps I'll be back. Perhaps not. Writing has felt more like a chore lately and I keep waiting for the spark to come back. We're on the move again. This time to the north shore of Lake Superior. Thunder Bay, here we come. I've got my two boys to keep me warm. And aren't they adorable??? Update to come...if I feel it.

Ezra James

Ezra James made his big debut two weeks ago on April 16th at 20:31 local. It was 18 hours of labour to bring the 9 pounder into the world. He was slow coming down but well worth the wait. He is PERFECT...and so much cuter than the ultrasound pics!

Mom and Dad brought him home from the hospital last Sunday. We've spent a lazy week falling in love with our son.

Here he is! Can you handle it?!

The Great Escape

I can't stop listening to this song. Thank god for CBC Radio 3!

Patrick Watson deserved that Juno.

Stroller Coaster

Did you know that babies come with a lot of crap? Lately, I have been dragging my ass out shopping and looking at what conventional parents are acquiring for their kids. It's freaking ridiculous. RIDICULOUS. C and I just want to keep it simple--funny how complicated that can be. So while I'm enjoying this rant, I will also confess something rather daring. I may eat my words or find myself backpedaling or recanting later on but the truth is this: I hate strollers. I think they are freaking obnoxious. Why are they so big? Why do they need all-wheel drive, all-terrain snow tires and a cup holder for your ginormous Starbucks latte? I just don't get them. At all. For this reason, I have put my foot down and said NO to the stroller/buggy/pram/baby SUV--whatever you like to call it. Just NO. We're slinging it, baby.

ps: Damn, aren't overdue pregnant broads crabby!

Quote of the Day

I just received this card in the mail. How appropriate for spring...



ps: I miss my friends.

On the Line

What the World Needs Now

Check out this hilarious new preview...

Make Air Not War

Out of hibernation

This past weekend C and I stepped out to enjoy the sunshine along the river in Kurashiki. I have not quite reached my tipping point and have put in a lot of klicks of late, albeit at a snail's pace. Only two and a half weeks to go! In response to your requests, some pics of my burgeoning belly for your entertainment...

The Shogun of Japan

And to think, a year ago this is what we were up to...



It's hard to see from the footage but that, my friends, is a ONE LITRE can of Asahi Super Dry. Impressive.

Weekend Surprises

1. Shaking your bootie at a bar when you're nine months pregnant will earn you WAY more attention and free gingerale than the sexiest club top around.

2. Snickers really does satisfy you.

3. Curry binging can cause heart burn for three days. That said, it was WORTH IT.

4. Kotooshu got tossed by a midget.

5. Throwing your futon at the TV does not change the fact that Asashoryu got his ass SMOKED!

6. And last but certainly not least, latest ultrasound reveals that the baby has a caterpillar moustache. Could he have stumbled into some bad lighting?

Filler

This is not an update. I just think it's high time I banish my undie clad ass to the bottom of the page. This was taken weeks before we left for J-land. Isn't my bear cute?

ps Only 5 more days of work!!!!!

4 Things

I don`t like about being pregnant:














1. Ginormous underwear. I could string these puppies up between two trees and provide shade for the Greater Kurashiki area.

2. My belly button. It now looks like the gaping mouth of a Japanese river carp.

3. Calling your partner "Daddy". It's kind of creepy.

4. Flatulence. Our apartment is a Dutch Bakery with all ovens blasting.

Tits and Giggles

Today we met with our midwife. Here's what our conversation went like...

MW: Today I would like to talk to you about breastfeeding. First, can I ask you what type of nipple you have? (showing three possible diagrams)

S: Um, I can't really say. It changes. You know, with hot and cold.

MW: (frowning) Well, what type do you think most resembles your nipple?

S: Hmmm. I don't know. Christopher, what do you think?

C: Oh my god, Sarah.

MW: (laughing with embarassment) You really should know your own body.

S: Yes, well I haven't exactly thought a lot about it. I guess I'll choose this one. It looks nice.

Afterwards...

C: What is WRONG with you?

S: What?

In other news, I got my first hair cut in Japan. The squirrel had to go. In a country famous for hair-dos like this, I was disappointed when they gave me "the soccer mom". Now all I need is a mini van...

Three Words

Oh. My. God.

Lost In Translation

Miss Yaki: O. Sensei, what happened? Your eye is all red and swollen. Are you alright?

O Sensei: Oh, it's nothing...just my...(flipping furiously through dictionary)...herpes acting up.

Miss Yaki: Right.

Glad Tidings!

In our two year absence, the Gladstone Hotel has had a face-lift! C and I have decided to check-in and check out one of their new rooms upon our return to the city. I think I like the Canadiana Room...or the Biker Room perhaps. Tell me what you think!

click here

How To Get An A In Engrish

It's getting harder and harder to squeeze out an A from this disgruntled English teacher. You've got to pretty much pass a kidney stone to impress me these days. However, among the mediocre speeches about pets and global warming and baseball heroes, some earned extra brownie points for standing out. Here's how:

1. Be brave. Choose an outrageous topic, like, er... "Vaginal Health". I'm still blushing. And I think Tsurumi sensei vomited in his mouth.

2. Write a catchy closing. If you're most kids, you say "Thank you for listening". But if you're Mr. Sato, you shake things up with: "Sorry, I'm a fuck-up".

3. Take the gesture suggestion a little too far. Simulate taking your clothes off.

4. Be ironic. Forget your speech at home. Next week, deliver your speech, entitled: "Don't Make Excuses: Take Responsibility"

To be continued...4 more grueling weeks of speeches to go!

Me and Charles Manson Like The Same Ice Cream

You can't judge a book by its cover but sometimes there are clues to a person's inner workings and mysteries by cetain choices they make. For example, the way a person plays air guitar can reveal a lot about a personality. Giv'r a good stroking with legs parted and a face-melting expression and I can tell right away that you are intense and/or possibly retarded. Limp strumming with eyes closed reveals a sensitive and fragile nature. Accurate chord changes and finger picking tells me that you are a perfectionist and probably really really annoying.

You can also tell a lot about a person by the ice cream flavour they choose. I have long teased C about his preference for Prailines and Cream and Maple Walnut. This demographic is also said to share a taste for these flavours. Should I be worried?
Personally, I have always been attracted to more daring flavours like Jamoca Almond Fudge, Chocolate and Peanut Butter and Mint Chocolate Chip--rather mainstream these days but pretty avant garde for my time. These days, there is an alarming array of flavours out there with personality disorders just waiting to be discovered: "Popping Shower", "Black Sesame" "Red Bean" and "Tempatation Island" among the flavours at our local Baskin Robbins. What the hell is a Popping Shower? It looked like tye-dyed vomit and I was tempted to try it, if not for the baby. Who knows what kind of side effects it could have!! Our son's trademark flavour will reveal itself all in good time. I'd settle for a personality somewhere between Vanilla and Bubblegum.

Somebody's Parents

Today I took a sickie, but for reals. I'm surrounded by balled up wet tissue, dirty mugs and a stack of embarassing VHS tapes. To make at least something of the day, I will attempt to update my abandoned blog. I thought I would feel pangs of guilt for not writing but as it turns out, I needed to take a long break. I intend to keep the posts coming and should have more time come next month. My last day of work is February 23, after which I plan to devote myself to learning about newborns. In the meantime, I'm having a ball with all the fun stuff like shopping on-line for essentials and justifying being a round-the-clock hog.

We've had a really busy past couple of months with trips to Seoul to visit Jane and Shannon, sumo in Fukuoka, and visits from family. I'll be sure to post some crazy pics of my folks' visit in the coming weeks. For now, I'm spent and need to pop in another video. I'll leave you with a couple of pictures taken at a ryokan in Osaka last week.

Somebody's Parents













Seven months of baby in my belly!

Rogue Cravings

Today the baby wanted to eat a jar of cocktail olives for lunch. I had to say no and then administer my own spanking.

Happy Anniversary!

Stupidity First

As a mother-to-be I was elated to find out that I can now sleep soundly at night. The CBC reports that a growing number of schools in the US are putting safety first and banning that fierce and violent pastime also known as TAG. Sorry kids, you'll have to just sniff more magic markers to get your kicks.

And to the Poindexter in the article who says he now feels safer at school: You can look forward to a beating which you probably deserve.

Tools.

What I wanted to have banned when I was seven:

1. teachers with coffee breath
2. eating glue
3. cooties
4. carrot sticks in my lunch box
5. Miss Hagen, the evil spinster librarian
6. licking the spout of the drinking fountain
7. picking your nose and eating it
8. singing Oh Canada in French

a dream i had

Last night I dreamt that the Hanshin Tigers signed a Buddhist monk to play for the team. But the monk wore a robe, and meditated through every pitch until he reached a full count. Only then would he swing, for that last pitch. The pitcher, so rattled by the monk`s zen state as he hurled the ball towards him, became increasingly nervous about his last throw, even though the odds were in his favour.
I woke up just before that final pitch. What would have happened? And what does it mean?

*****

In other news, I accepted candy from a strange man last night on the train even though I`m pretty sure my parents told me not to do that, ever. It was lemony sweet!

well hello there

It's Saturday morning. My new thing is rising early and eating a hearty breakfast, leaving C snoring in bed for a few extra hours. Today I poured a tall glass of orange sunshine, turned up the Billie Holiday and sat around the kotatsu nibbling granola and yogurt, brown rice cakes and peanut butter and the most delicious organic apple I've ever bitten into. Should be good at three dollars a pop! My apetitie is back and I'm happy to report that my brief intimacy with the toilet, with the late night rendez-vous and morning quickies has come to an abrupt end. Finally, I feel like myself again.

As you've all noticed and commented, I've had a case of the blahgs lately. And consequently, have shown no blogger love for quite some time. I've probably lost my audience but alas, it's time to break the silence. When there is so much to write about, I hate feeling obligated to catch up. And so the cycle of procrastination. In the end, I have decided to just talk the same old trash and skip the big, important posts that I should have updated you with. Luckily, C is in the process of uploading all the pics from our big Indonesia odyssey so I will just direct you there with little more comment than: "yeah, what he said". We are going to have to get into a routine of tag-teaming so why not start with team blogging. Picking up where the other left off. He has also promised to guest blog on Little Green so stay tuned for a message from Daddy.

And now I will leave you with a few pictures taken last Sunday. It was a glorious long weekend. On Sunday morning, we awoke at 5:30 and dressed hastily in the early morning light. The harvest moon still hung full in the sky as the sun was coming up over the trees. Mr. Okabe picked us up a little after six, and we drove together to Hofukuji, the beautiful Buddhist temple in Soja. We were met there by a few monks, and a small gathering of zazen followers and first timers like ourselves. We were led into an airy chamber where we were invited to climb up on the rows of carefully arranged cushions. We each took a place on the cushions and twisted ourselves into half lotus position. The monk meticulously instructed us how to sit, and how to breathe but as always, like idiots, we had to take visual cues from the others. A stick of incense was lit and a small gong hit several times to mark the beginning of silence. For one hour, we were not to move a muscle, but concentrate on circular breathing, let our mind disengage, and enter into the oneness of time and space, and everything contained in between. Easier said than done. For the first half hour, I had some success with the meditation. However, when the monk emerged with a big stick and started whacking people on the back, I was a little distracted. Hard to stay in your zen place when the guy next to you is receiving a beating.

Perhaps the highlight for me was the monk chanting at the close of the ceremony. He had an incredible voice and was able to sustain the notes through circular breathing for what seemed minutes at a time.

Afterwards, we met with the zen master and enjoyed sour plum tea, as well as the traditional maccha green tea with adzuki bean sweet. We had to rely on Mr. Okabe for the English translations afterwards but did learn some interesting seasonal folk tales that the priest shared.

We were home and napping by 10:30 but were left feeling exhilirated by the unique Japanese experience. Coincidentally, that Sunday also marked the end of my retching and I have enjoyed excellent spirits and health ever since. I'm converted! I'll be going zen again soon!



Sunday afternoon we headed up to the mountains with a few friends. We camped on Yataka mountain and made an early rise climb to the top for sunrise. Here was the breathtaking view before us...

God's Gonna Cut You Down

Sadly, the MPAA slapped this trailer with a red ban so you won't see it in theatres....

Deliver Us From Evil

Typical Tuesday

Here's my day in a nutshell...

-woke up to minor earthquake

-sang Michael Jackson song in front of 300 people

-hit on by a sixteen year old boy in the dark

-chased by paparazzi of high school girls with disposable cameras

-threw up while riding my bicycle

-threw up on my driveway

-went to bed

When we heed a certain call

It's that time of year again. Head bowed, avoiding all eye contact, hiding inside my locker til after cleaning time, I thought this year I could maybe, just maybe get out of participating in the dignity-sucking School Festival hit pararde. Last year, I gave it my best Karen Carpentar, belting out On Top Of The World with a shit-eating grin spread wide across my face. Did I have fun? Absolutely. In a kind of, "well, this is a unique Japanese experience that I never care to repeat" kind of way. And just when I thought I was off the hook, two students slyly entrapped me at my desk, slipping me a CD and requesting with sad, puppy dog eyes that I sing again this year. When I looked at what they wanted me to sing, I asked them if they were freaking bananas. They looked at me blankly, muttered "nani?" and took my reply as a yes. I will say this: my moment has come. On stage, performing before a live audience and backed by a full brass band, I have been hand-picked to sing We Are The World. By myself.

I`ve been studiously watching the 1985 video in an attempt to master the swaying and facial ticks of each singer. Oh, yes. I plan to do all the voices. I especially love slipping from Dionne Warwick to Willy Nelson. Or from Kenny Rogers to James Ingram. They're gonna think I'm possessed by a freaking demon. Any costume suggestions? Maybe just an oversized pair of padded headphones...

Invisible Ink

Maybe I wrote in invisible ink,
Oh I tried to think
How I could make it appear...

We are back from Indonesia. I haven't been able to write about it, not until now. And even this post is hush hush. We discovered something so life-altering in the jungle that it has been difficult to think of anything else. I'm pregnant. And boy, was that unexpected! In case you`re wondering how something like this could happen, see this post. Check out what we've been up to the past couple of weeks. I've started an offshore blog to document our shock and bewilderment (and our joy, of course). I promise to get back to regular updates soon. In the meantime, you can read about my retching at: http://littlegreen2007.blogspot.com

Teaser Trailer

I have yet to recover from my mystery jungle illness. All will be revealed shortly. In the meantime, here are some shots to whet your appetitie. I've missed you!!

We now interrupt this regularly scheduled programming.

Down to the Wire

It's 15 hours before departure and we're just packing the last of our things. Not so long ago, I could throw together a suitcase in 15 minutes. Destination unknown: Tel-Aviv, Sao Paulo, Paris, Thunder Bay, Saskatoon, it didn't matter. I could be ready to go anywhere with the snap of a finger. No clean underwear? No problem. Just turn them inside out! One year later, I sit here ironing handkerchiefs and t-shirts, placing everything neatly into labeled zip-lock bags. Is my grandmother inhabiting my body? Next thing you know I'll be sewing the days of the week onto the ass of my undies.

Also in preparation for tomorrow's departure, C and I have removed our wedding rings and filed our nails down to the bone. Apparently, there will be no toilet paper available at the camp. We are expected to make do with our left hand, a bucket of water, and a scoop. Constipation never looked so good! At least we've got the squat down from living in Japan. Ah, well. As the old saying goes, when in Rome...

Joking aside, we are jumping up and down with excitement and anticipation. Only one more sleep!! Be back at the end of August! So long, folks!

ps...In Sumatra I can give up a lot of things: TV, the internet, my ipod and even toilet paper. But one thing I will miss is a new episode of Wiretap on CBC radio. If anyone can tape it for me, I'll be their best friend.

August 6/Wiretap: The Promise of Childhood

Jonathan Goldstein describes how it feels when Zuuzuu discovers the Beatles. Gregor does his best to save a precocious child from certain doom - a future of adult mediocrity. Howard tries to convince Goldstein to revisit the glories of childhood with a round of what he claims was the best game ever: No Rules Octopus Rock Tag.

The new episodes now air on Sundays (Monday for us--rats!!!)

These Boots Were Made For

I have a foot fetish. Often I have pondered the nature and origin of my fetish and have come to the conclusion that I just like going places. There are always places to come from, and places to go, and damn it, it's my feet that take me there. In turn, I am kind to my feet. I spoil them with expensive lotions and creams. I trip around in comfy Mary Janes and flip flops, and they have yet to complain of a blister this summer.
Boots have, and will always be the ultimate treat for my feet. Some will recall the girly rainboots I just had to have, or those sexy brown suede knee highs I kicked around in for years. In high school, my social-in was owing to a pair of 10-hole Dock Martens (OK, the ripped fishnets helped too.)
And tonight, shopping for mosquito repellant at the Namba Home Centre, I had to give in to yet another whimsical demand of my feet. Behold, the ninja boot:




They are currently only popular among Japanese construction workers and myself. I will see that they catch on. Everybody needs a pair, I say. They are light and quick-drying with amazing grip. And when you slip them on you feel a little like a super hero...or a marsupial.

I must run now. There are trees to climb. And walls to scale. And balls to bust.

Eavesdrop

on a conversation I had:

-Do you know where I can find a bathing suit to fit me?
-How about a military base.
-Wha?