Tits and Giggles

Today we met with our midwife. Here's what our conversation went like...

MW: Today I would like to talk to you about breastfeeding. First, can I ask you what type of nipple you have? (showing three possible diagrams)

S: Um, I can't really say. It changes. You know, with hot and cold.

MW: (frowning) Well, what type do you think most resembles your nipple?

S: Hmmm. I don't know. Christopher, what do you think?

C: Oh my god, Sarah.

MW: (laughing with embarassment) You really should know your own body.

S: Yes, well I haven't exactly thought a lot about it. I guess I'll choose this one. It looks nice.

Afterwards...

C: What is WRONG with you?

S: What?

In other news, I got my first hair cut in Japan. The squirrel had to go. In a country famous for hair-dos like this, I was disappointed when they gave me "the soccer mom". Now all I need is a mini van...

Three Words

Oh. My. God.

Lost In Translation

Miss Yaki: O. Sensei, what happened? Your eye is all red and swollen. Are you alright?

O Sensei: Oh, it's nothing...just my...(flipping furiously through dictionary)...herpes acting up.

Miss Yaki: Right.

Glad Tidings!

In our two year absence, the Gladstone Hotel has had a face-lift! C and I have decided to check-in and check out one of their new rooms upon our return to the city. I think I like the Canadiana Room...or the Biker Room perhaps. Tell me what you think!

click here

How To Get An A In Engrish

It's getting harder and harder to squeeze out an A from this disgruntled English teacher. You've got to pretty much pass a kidney stone to impress me these days. However, among the mediocre speeches about pets and global warming and baseball heroes, some earned extra brownie points for standing out. Here's how:

1. Be brave. Choose an outrageous topic, like, er... "Vaginal Health". I'm still blushing. And I think Tsurumi sensei vomited in his mouth.

2. Write a catchy closing. If you're most kids, you say "Thank you for listening". But if you're Mr. Sato, you shake things up with: "Sorry, I'm a fuck-up".

3. Take the gesture suggestion a little too far. Simulate taking your clothes off.

4. Be ironic. Forget your speech at home. Next week, deliver your speech, entitled: "Don't Make Excuses: Take Responsibility"

To be continued...4 more grueling weeks of speeches to go!

Me and Charles Manson Like The Same Ice Cream

You can't judge a book by its cover but sometimes there are clues to a person's inner workings and mysteries by cetain choices they make. For example, the way a person plays air guitar can reveal a lot about a personality. Giv'r a good stroking with legs parted and a face-melting expression and I can tell right away that you are intense and/or possibly retarded. Limp strumming with eyes closed reveals a sensitive and fragile nature. Accurate chord changes and finger picking tells me that you are a perfectionist and probably really really annoying.

You can also tell a lot about a person by the ice cream flavour they choose. I have long teased C about his preference for Prailines and Cream and Maple Walnut. This demographic is also said to share a taste for these flavours. Should I be worried?
Personally, I have always been attracted to more daring flavours like Jamoca Almond Fudge, Chocolate and Peanut Butter and Mint Chocolate Chip--rather mainstream these days but pretty avant garde for my time. These days, there is an alarming array of flavours out there with personality disorders just waiting to be discovered: "Popping Shower", "Black Sesame" "Red Bean" and "Tempatation Island" among the flavours at our local Baskin Robbins. What the hell is a Popping Shower? It looked like tye-dyed vomit and I was tempted to try it, if not for the baby. Who knows what kind of side effects it could have!! Our son's trademark flavour will reveal itself all in good time. I'd settle for a personality somewhere between Vanilla and Bubblegum.

Somebody's Parents

Today I took a sickie, but for reals. I'm surrounded by balled up wet tissue, dirty mugs and a stack of embarassing VHS tapes. To make at least something of the day, I will attempt to update my abandoned blog. I thought I would feel pangs of guilt for not writing but as it turns out, I needed to take a long break. I intend to keep the posts coming and should have more time come next month. My last day of work is February 23, after which I plan to devote myself to learning about newborns. In the meantime, I'm having a ball with all the fun stuff like shopping on-line for essentials and justifying being a round-the-clock hog.

We've had a really busy past couple of months with trips to Seoul to visit Jane and Shannon, sumo in Fukuoka, and visits from family. I'll be sure to post some crazy pics of my folks' visit in the coming weeks. For now, I'm spent and need to pop in another video. I'll leave you with a couple of pictures taken at a ryokan in Osaka last week.

Somebody's Parents













Seven months of baby in my belly!