Sunday, July 30

Fireworks Festival

The rainy season is over. The oppressive heat of summer has arrived in full force, accompanied by the deafening song of the cicadas. In celebration of summer, we did what anybody would do: don traditional clothing and suppress our breathing! We met at Chisato's house where her mom manhandled us into snuggly fitting yukata. I could feel my arms and legs, but not much in between, the obi cutting off every sensation (except for pain). Christopher's challenge was of a different nature: he had to walk in wooden platform geta while serving as porter and photographer to all the ladies.

The Fireworks Festival in Kasaoka was rather impressive, with 40 000 people coming from nearby towns to take part. What I enjoyed most was admiring the hundreds of different yukata patterns and hearing the click click click of wooden geta on the pavement. As foreigners, we mostly attracted curious stares and the occasional point. I will tell myself it was because we looked so beautiful.

Not to be performed in yukata: eating, drinking of any kind, urinating, opera arias.





Tuesday, July 25

Simple Twist of Fate

We finally got off our butts and booked a flight to Indonesia. After hmmming and hawwwing between Bali, Borneo and Sumatra, we settled on Bali and Lombok. And wouldn`t you know it, 24 hours later, the Orangutan Health Project in Sumatra finally responded to our queries about volunteering on the program. Gahhhhh! I guess some things are just not meant to be.
...or are they? Turns out, there are a couple of cheap and easy flights we can catch to make it to Medan for the August expedition. After three weeks of ironing out the many wrinkles we have decided to do it. We just sent in our forms and have started training (I can do 50 sit-ups and 5 push-ups!) The ball is rolling, folks.



Check out the project.

Saturday, July 22

Dress Up

Georgina and I try on summer yukata for the fireworks festival. We refuse the ugly selection of "tall girl" sizes and opt for a three quarter length sleeve instead. Also purchased: traditional wooden geta for Christopher (Japan's answer to Dutch wooden clogs). I'll be able to hear him coming!


Later at the bar, Dan dresses up like someone's grandmother. That's what they get for running a clothing store by day and a watering hole by night!

Friday, July 21

?

"At the side of the everlasting why,
there is a YES! and a YES! and a YES!!!"

Tuesday, July 18

The Ugly Stick




Mammoth mouth-breather Miyabiyama defeats Hakuho in an upset victory Monday. In related news, The Sumo Association receives petition demanding the wrestler wear a bra.

Other disappointments: Dumb brute Baruto manhandles Kotooushu out of the ring.

Monday, July 17

Long Weekend


The Plan: camping on Mayajima island.

Materials: 2 Dahon folding bikes, 1 imported Canadian tent, beer, snacks, 2 silk sleeping bags, sunscreen, deodorant, toilet paper.

Wardrobe: clean t-shirt, shorts, trainers.


The Reality: intermittent thunderstorms, flat tire, oversleeping, impromptu dinner party, 8 consecutive hours of movie viewing, afternoon boozing, sumo upsets.

Materials: 2 granny bikes w. baskets, 7-Eleven, 24-hour video store, 1 gas burner, beer, wine, sake, rum, ouzo (ouch-o), Brad and Alicia.

Wardrobe: pajamas and/or underwear

Sunday, July 16

This is your captain speaking

It’s hard to believe that it has been one year since I turned in my wings, retired the heels and said sayonara to my friends and family. Life on the ground has been more agreeable than I would have imagined and I have even come to (gasp) like the M-F routine. A ringing phone no longer punctuates the night with the following one-sided conversation: Congratulations! You’ve won a trip to [shitty destination]. Check-in is in two hours. Click.

But changing horses in midstream comes with its own set of challenges. At times I feel like a giant fraud, making it up as I go along. The time I spent earning my degrees is like a hazy cloud in my head after a night of binge drinking. Did I really do that? Yes, you did. That was you. So why am I left feeling so inadequate and ill equipped? And then again, does it really matter? I’d rather be a fraud than a chicken shit. Like my uncle Dennis sneaking into the swimming pool at The Plaza, I’ll just strut my stuff until someone says: “hey, what the f*ck do you think you’re doing?” And then run like hell…

The year in retrospect has been good for me. My face looks the same in the mirror but I know that I have changed in sublte ways that even elude myself. The education system in Japan is tragically flawed but I have shifted my focus to more important things, namely, motivating students and spreading an enthusiasm for, well, everything. I've sacrificed my dignity playing air guitar in class, dressing up my boys in drag, and the crowning moment: belting out On Top of the World with the Brass Band backing me up. It's the cumulative day-to-day moments with my kids that have made me reach for a pen and sign up for another year. Unlike the nameless passengers being chauffered between Point A and B, I'm met with bright and expectant faces every day. It gets me out of bed in the morning…without so much as a phone call.

Sometimes you have to take a giant wrecking ball to your life and put it back together the way you want it. The change has done me good. Cruising at a different altitude, it’s now my turn to relax, sit back, and enjoy the ride.

before:
after:

Friday, July 14

Lacroix sweetie, Lacroix.

This afternoon I was perusing a friend's blog. As I scrolled down to check out the new design I noticed her links and started clicking away. One link was entitled: Keeping Import Wine Sales High. Intrigued, I clicked, only to be directed to my own blog. Very amusing. I guess at times the blog can read like a night out with Eddy and Patsy. On that note, here is your quote of the week, sweeties:




"The last mosquito that bit me had to check in to The Betty Ford Clinic".

Sunday, July 9

Recipe

Ingredients:
one large booth
20 JETs
3 JTEs
20,000 song titles
100 conbini beers
2 microphones
And voila!
You have a Saturday night!

Ready for this?


Beer is my boyfriend.


Divinyls Duet. When I Think About You I Touch Myself...

Like I said...


Everybody loves a Scottish lass! And I will drink five hundred beers and I will drink five hundred more... DADADADADADA!



Demure Patrique is not immune to the feminine charms of: Irene Cara, Beyonce, Bonnie Tyler and Julia. (I have a secret theory that Patrique is really a vampire. He aroused suspicion yet again with his karaoke selection: Fame! I`m gonna live forever...coincidence?)


The King of Karaoke: the best songster this town has ever seen.


I smell a Styx song coming on...could it be the shirt?



Awwww.

Saturday, July 8

be gentle with me

Can't stop listening to this song. Click watch video.








Happy now? Yeah, me too.
You're welcome.

Friday, July 7

The Daytripper

We have a date today, the city and I. You'll pick me up bright and early, right? You remember the place: the old basement apartment on Shaw, precariously straddling the border of Little Italy and Portugal. That's right, the red brick house across from the park with the leaky faucet and futon shaped like a hotdog bun (another story, that one). Antonio, the landlord will likely be outside giving the lawn a crew cut. You can't miss him. He'll be wearing his khaki shorts, navy pull-up socks and sandals. He'll force a smile but hawk eye you as you approach the house, thinking that you're also in need of a haircut. For the love of god, don't step on the man's grass. And don't be late...



So what do you want to do first? It's such a beautiful day, I suggest we cut down to Crawford and admire some of the Edwardian homes. I love these old maple lined streets. Hey, doesn't Daniel Richler live in that one? No, I think he moved awhile back. But Broken Social Scene still jams around here in one of these old monsters. Come on now, keep up.

We're approaching Dundas street. I see a familiar red streetcar flash by, accelerating and emitting sparks. I sigh deeply. We come to the intersection and I point out where Miss Nix used to live before we lost her to the burbs (she'll soon return to Liberty Village) We wait for the light to change, and observe the metamorphosis that has taken place on the once sketchy street. Gone is the sad succession of boarded up shops. You are quick to point out how they've been replaced by the flirty Skirt and Clandestino, as well as a recently renovated Cafe Brasiliano. And let's not forget our favourite hang out, The Communist's Daughter. Ah yes, we'll come back to that one later...it deserves its own post.
I know what C would call all this: gentrification. But it's just so much easier on the eye than the crack houses of old, don't you think?

But enough about Dundas. Especially when the green oasis of Trinity Park lies before us. Let's take a stroll through it! Oh, how I've missed you! Hey, look! A cop on horseback! What's he thinking walking past the Dog Park? Look at the terriers going freaking bananas--hilarious.

Do you remember this spot? Last summer we congregated here and stretched out on blankets under a starry night sky. I was in charge of mixing the gin and tonics and made them too strong. That's where Carine passed out. I wonder what she's up to today...maybe she can meet us!



I have a hankering for something sweet now. How about a caffe latte and a decadent pain au chocolat from Clafouti, the best French bakery in the city? Mais pourquoi pas? No, we don't need a bag for those. They are going straight into our mouths. And, since this is a fantasy and all, let's eat six a piece, okay? Moving on (we have to work off that pound of butter).

Next destination: Kensington Market. The fridge is empty, after all. We must stop and pick up some organic veggies from Potts. What's he got today? Oh my god, that kale is enormous! And there he is, singing along to Al Green and cooking up his own stew which he will generously share with any takers. I could stay here all day shooting the shit with this man. I lurve you, Potts!



You look at your watch and I shoot you a dirty one. How dare you rush me! But you remind me how much left there is to do today--if I am to be satisfied. Time for breakfast. What will it be? The patio at Musa with the delightfully surly wait staff? Our usual scrambled egg crepe with hollandaise at Boom? Healthy organic scrambled eggs and organic salad at Luna? Um, no. I think what I want is Cafe Brasiliano Eggs Florentine. Let's hurry so we can snag a booth!

Stay tuned for the next nostalgia-induced Hog Town Visit...

Nostalgia-Helpers:

Almost Summer-Jason Collett
Hangover Days - Jason Collett
Hell, that whole album (Idols of Exile)
Friends Forever - Old 97s
Away - Kathleen Edwards
Strawberry Blonde - Ron Sexsmith
Northern Wish - Rheostatics
Mushaboom - Feist

Thursday, July 6

-Oh, bite the weenie, Riz.

-With relish...

Wednesday, July 5

Hot Diggidy Dog

Takeru Kobayashi: Still the Hot Dog Eating Champion Of the World

The 130 lb lightweight from Nagano does it again!


Who says Japan has no celebrities?

Monday, July 3

my new favourite snack

Introducing:


Special Edition "Gas Pedal" Doritos
For crotch-kickin good times


Also for a limited time:



Special Edition "Pervy Stares" Doritos
Have you been ogled yet today?

Sayonara Memories

Our camera died at the Naoshima Sayonara party so there is not one shred of physical evidence that it even took place.
So apparently, I did NOT sing Like A Virgin in my sultry Madonna karaoke voice accompanied by rude girations and orgasmic breathing. Also, C did NOT win a drinking contest with himself and wrestle all the men in the room. There most certainly was no "Running Man" dance-off, nor did England really lose to Portugal. Let`s NOT do it again next year, kay?

Sayonara to all those who are leaving us. You will be missed.

options

or lack thereof...

Now playing in Kurashiki.

I wish this was coming. Or better yet, this.

This looks gawd-awful.

fair fight

  • a good race to watch
  •