I meant to do that

I pulled some real boners today at work. The first was stealthily sneaking out the back door to take a long lunch. When I was down at the bike racks, trying to extricate my bicycle, I accidentally knocked down every single bike in the lot. I just stood there gaping for a moment as I watched the whole row come crashing down like dominoes. I meant to do that. A bunch of students rushed to my aid but it was too late. My cover was totally blown. Way to go, Pee Wee.

The next incident happened after lunch as I was perusing the latest edition of This magazine that just arrived in the mail. I was so engrossed by an article that I didn`t notice my VP loitering behind my desk. He asked if he could take a look at what I was reading. Oh god, I thought. Anything would be better than the subversive This magazine, even a Teen People splashed with glossies of Paris Hilton.
Reluctantly, I handed it over. He must have leafed through every page. He paused at the article about the tatooed lesbian artist whose exhibit features 10 foot tall female sasquatches.

Utterly excruciating.