When you leave, I still have to live here

I once overheard Jim’s mom, Connie say: “You know, when you leave Port Elgin, I still have to live here”. She said it composedly, and with a smile, but it was a rebuke nonetheless. What she meant to say was: you may think it’s funny to get drunk and play Celery Generals* in front of the house but we have neighbours for Chrissake!

As we prepare to entertain visitors this weekend, I can’t help but hear Connie’s words reverberate in my mind: When you guys leave, I still have to live here.

In his Souvenir of Canada, Douglas Coupland claims that Doug is the most quintessentially Canadian name (insert shovel joke here). As a Canadian, I can boast of knowing at least a dozen Dougs. Hell, I even have an uncle Doug. And to elaborate on this idea, I would argue that if there was ever a quintessentially Canadian nickname, it would have to be “Moose”. Ah, yes. The great, Canadian Moose--so splendid in his natural habitat.
But what happens when Moose gets on a plane bound for Tokyo? Well, we are about to find out when Mike, Moose and Derek arrive on Saturday.

You might think by the tone of this entry that I am somewhat apprehensive and anxious about the arrival of three of C’s notorious friends. Perhaps. But the overriding feeling is one of anticipation, of gearing up for some good old-fashioned tomfoolery. How dreary and dismal Japan has seemed to me through the winter. Okayama needs a good dose of over the top. And frankly, so do I. It’s true: when they leave, I still have to live here. And like Connie, I will miss them when they’re gone.


* Celery Generals: a brilliant game dreamed up by the likes of Tom Green (when he was obscure and funny). It involves making figures out of vegetables and putting them on the road in the path of passing vehicles. If you manage to get your Celery General run over, the other guy has to eat it...so everybody wins.